I don’t usually say things purely to watch reactions. Having said that, I’ll confess it’s kind of fun to watch friends faces when conversations turn to the goings-on on our deck. It often goes something like this:
“What’s new?”
“Well, we’re a little behind on the garden this year.”
“Isn’t it a little early for tomatoes?”
“Yes, but we haven’t planted our peas or carrots yet, and it’ll be time to get the beans in in a week or two. At least the lettuce is in.”
“You grow peas and carrots on your deck?” (blink, blink)
“Yep.”
“And green beans.”
“Sure.”
“How…?” (furrowed brow)
In self-watering 5-gallon buckets. The peas and beans climb up trellises.”
“Really! That’s cool…and a tomato, too?” (cue raised eyebrows)
“Last year we had eight tomatoes. I think this year we’ll only have 6.”
“Wow! There must not be room for you out there.”
“Well, we had to take out the loveseat, but we kept the two chairs. They’re in a corner flanking the olive tree.”
“You have an olive tree…” (blink, blink, blink)
“Yeah. It only produced two olives last year but we still like it.”
“What all do you grow out there???” (eyes wide)
“Um, let’s see, there’s a bay tree, thyme, sage, Italian parsley…”
“Rosemary?”
“Two, at the moment.”
(snicker)
“Then tarragon, chives, summer savory, oregano, basil, and cilantro. Oh, and mint.”
“Is that all?” (sarcasm/on)
“Well, no, there are the two blueberries, the raspberries…”
“Blueberries and raspberries.” (more raised eyebrows)
“Yes.”
“On your deck.” (furrowed brow + triple-blink + head tilt)
“Yes. Plus strawberries, cucumbers, peppers, garlic… oh, and this year I want to try zucchini.”
“What – no potatoes?”
“Well, two kinds, actually… We’re trying them in a different spot this year ’cause last year they kind of took over the deck.”
“I was kidding! You grow potatoes in a bucket?”
“We did the first year we tried it, but there wasn’t room for the potatoes to grow to any real size, so last year we made self-watering garbage can planters for them.”
“You’re growing potatoes in garbage cans???” (look of alarm)
“We bought them new for the purpose… we’re not using cans that ever had any garbage in them!”
“Oh! So everything out there is food…” (blinking furiously)
“Except for the Japanese maples. If I could figure out somewhere else to put them, (maybe outside the back door) we’d like to get a couple of columnar apple trees… or an apple and a pear.
“And it all fits out there…?”
“Well, not everything is in season at the same time, but a lot of it overlaps, so kind of….”
“That’s not a garden. That’s a little farm.”
“We call it our balc-o-farm…” (grin)
At that point the conversation usually turns to other things. There’s not much more to say… until a few minutes later.
“Then last year we went to… Wait, don’t you ever worry that it will collapse?”
“Sorry?”
“The deck.”
“Oh! Well, it’s rated to hold a full hot tub plus people, so it’s been okay so far. We mix a fair bit of perlite into the soil, which lightens it, plus the buckets and planters are all plastic. It’s not going to win any beauty contests, but…”
“Oh. Anyway, last year we went to…”
Snicker, indeed.
little farm on the balcony 